Writer's block is not the only disease to plague a writer. There is also writer's sheer laziness. Which brings me to the point I intend to make today. It is not talent, not imagination, not desire, not passion, but sheer tenacity that makes a writer. The ability to hack away, or rather type away, regardless of state of mind, level of inspiration, mood....regardless of what other priorities appear. The ability to cut out laziness from life, to not indulge in self-doubt as an excuse to shirk, the quality of perseverance.
And it is this rather mundane quality that I lack. I can be single-minded, but only in spurts. I can be tenacious, but my patience runs out. I tell myself I am not convinced I can really write well, but I know thats a lie to disguise my lack of discipline.
Such self-realization has not, in my case, paved the way for self-improvement. Instead, it puts me into the complacent state of knowing my weaknesses and accepting them as they are. Perhaps I am simply not motivated enough to develop the qualities I need to write.
I will, someday. I believe there is a basic character we all have and then we have phases, dependent on age, stage of life, company, influences. I believe my life is still in flux, and I am the kind of person who thrives on that flux. So achieving stability to write is a particularly difficult thing.
Excuses, excuses..they are one too many.